Forever
by Kode Dekka
Summary: Love, jealousy and hate. An obsessive passion going too far. Tragedy. Sometimes, love can be far scarier, and more powerful than hate ever could. This is a NanoFate, kind of. Rated M for the mature content, just in case.


_A/N: This was something that I came up with late last night, I thought it might be fun to do so I did it. It became longer than I expected, and took quite a while, there were also some difficulties in writing. Anyway, I haven't read many stories like this, which is sad, because I find these types of stories to be the most interesting. I guess its all up to me, so ahoy I go, bringing in the YanYan surge to combat all the TsunTsun. Enjoy this story, and don't forget to tell me what you think, okay? Also, this story may be a bit confusing, so I shall give you tips on how to read. _

_when 'you' is used, this = Nanoha_

_when 'her' is used, this = Hayate_

_It is like this mostly throughout, and you should be able understand it now. Have fun.  
_

_- Kode-Dekka_

* * *

_You were the only one that I looked at, only you. _

_Your shimmering eyes, your beautiful voice, your fair skin. _

_You were a diamond, you shinned a brilliant light around my darkness. _

_I loved you, I only loved you. _

_I thought of you, I only thought of you. _

_I saw you, I only saw you. _

_So, tell me..._

_When was it, that you stopped looking back at me?_

Forever...

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha

Nanoha, you never were a morning person. Every day, just like this one, I strolled to your house to wake you up. As I neared your home, I skipped with each step, it was a pleasure to be able to see your sleeping face, and I was glad to have that pleasure belong only to me.

Did you know, that you drooled in your sleep, Nanoha? I always sat quietly by your bedside, just like this, staring at your cute face, watching the saliva trickle down your lips. I longed to be that fluid, to be able to touch your lips like that. I grabbed a handkerchief from my purse. I wiped away the drool, and then I threw the wet cloth back in, I wanted to save it for later.

Having my hand caress your face caused you to stir, you finally awoke from your dreams, which I hoped were about me. I waited patiently as your eyes fluttered open, not making a single sound and announcing my presence. But you saw that I was there, you must have known, I did this every day after all.

'Fate-chan', you called my name softly, still half asleep. I nearly swooned from that alone, but managed to control myself. I smiled at you and bid you a good morning, to which you responded in kind.

As usual I watched you get up lazily, then slip into the bathroom for a moment to wash your face. When you came out, you told me that I didn't have to do this every day. I didn't mind it at all; I wanted to see you as much as possible, even if it meant getting up two hours early every day.

You sat back down on the bed, waiting for my next move. I took out my brush and started to run it through the beautiful strands of your hair. Every so often, I would lean in close, as if to inspect, but I was really just getting as close to you as possible, I wanted to take in your morning scent. You never suspected, you were kind of slow like that, but that's okay, because I love that part of you as well.

When we finished, we headed off to school. It was always just the two of us, walking side by side, holding hands. We were the best friends in the world, I was perfectly happy just being by your side like this, just being able to breathe the same air as you was enough. You didn't feel the same way as I did, I could tell. I loved you, and I know you loved me, but it wasn't the same. I knew this, I knew my feelings for you would never go answered, - I didn't even bother to ask - but I was content just being with you. And so even though I wanted to do more than just smile at you, and do more than just touch your hand, I kept quiet about my feelings. You may not feel the same way now, but some day you will, I know it. So for now, I'll wait for you, until the day you come to me.

* * *

There was a new girl today at school, Hayate Yagami. She was nice, and she was kind of cute; of course, not as much as you. She did have one fatal flaw though, she was crippled, and had to move about in a wheelchair. This handicap managed to amass her sympathy from almost everyone, even I felt a little bad for her circumstances. She was like a shinny new toy to the class, but I paid no special mind to her; that is, until you started looking at her.

At lunch, in the hallway where we always ate, you talked about her, it seems that you were fascinated with the new girl, much like everyone else. Hearing her name come off your tongue kind of annoyed me, but I swallowed what I wanted to say, and responded positively to everything. I didn't want to hear you talk about anyone other than me, I didn't want you to notice anyone other than me. But it was fine, I could handle it, this kind of thing was nothing and would soon pass. As soon as you lost your interest in her, things would be back to normal, and I would become the center of your world again...

... Or, so I wanted. Of all the places, why did _she_ have to come to this exact spot? Of all the times it could happen, why did it have to be now? And why, why, did she have to drop all her books on the floor?

When you saw it you went over to her and helped gather her things. Her face flushed lightly with red as you hands brushed against hers, though it was only a moment. She thanked you and you scratched your cheek, acting like it was nothing. Seeing you act so friendly with her, set my heart on fire. It wasn't like usual, it didn't feel good, it hurt. You pushed her over this way, smiling so brightly that it was almost blinding.

When you introduced us, I smiled like normal, not giving away a trace of my feelings to either of you. You invited her to eat lunch with us, to which she refused, the nerve of her. I wouldn't allow her to trample on your good intentions, so I insisted, though the words felt like a powerful acid that melted my tongue. Only after my badgering did she agree. I wasn't happy, but seeing the happy look on your face, made it all worth the pain.

That day, she joined in our small group of friends. To me however, she were nothing more than an intruder. I knew it right then, in that moment. I hated her.

* * *

The night was dark, but the light of the full moon shined through the window of my room. I lay in bed, holding the tissue that I used to wipe your mouth. I pulled it close to my face, smelled it, even sampled its contents. As I did this shameful act, I fondled myself, all while thinking of you. Your image made my crotch warm, your eyes and your voice set ablaze the passion between my thighs. I touched my developing breasts as well, pinched and squeezed them to your name. Even though I lived alone, I tried to suppress my voice, but my moans broke through.

And then _her_ face came to my mind, and the fire was put out. Hayate Yagami, the person I hated the most in this world; why did her filthy image have to invade even my private time?

I tossed the used handkerchief to the corner of my room. It had once been a source, of pleasure, but now I was only disgusted with it. I held my arms over my face, trying to erase her from my head. It was no use, her damned image refused to leave. And then I started to feel the fires of my hatred burning. I cursed her name, over and over. I thrashed about, trying to clear my mind of the smile that you directed at her. It was making me crazy. You were only supposed to look at me, you should only notice me. I was the one who loved you the most, no one would ever treat you as well as I did.

I hated Hayate, detested her, despised her, cursed her. The second that you made eye contact, I knew you would want to be friends with her, it would be hard to prevent it. I barely managed to get rid of those other two, Arisa and Suzuka. It took a lot of work to make them stay away from you. I had to really get at them, I even threatened them. It took time, and you were sad for a while; but it worked, I comforted you, and you were all mine again.

But now this cripple was coming in to our utopia. She was just like all the others, she was going to try to take up your time, she would try to steal you away from me. I wouldn't let her do that, no matter what it took.

* * *

The next was just like I expected. After school, you invited to walk that demon home. I loved you, so when you asked if I had any objections, I just grinned and bared it. She lived in the same direction as us, at least until we got to a fork in the road. It was a painful walk, I kept my mouth shut most of the time, only responding when you called to me. But we finally made it, and she would go away.

You waved at her, and she started down the road. I was about to let her go, but something crossed my mind, a brilliant idea. I told you to go on, I said I just wanted to talk to Hayate for a moment. You bought it and started walking away. I ran up to her, touching her shoulder.

'Is something the matter?' She dared ask me that. I just smiled as sweetly as I could, I don't really know what my face looked like.

'Nanoha belongs to me, stop getting in my way.' She looked surprised to say the least, the smile must have confused her. I only smiled, because I didn't want you to turn around suddenly and see the rage in my eyes. She didn't know what I was talking about, so I told her clearly: 'Stay away from Nanoha, your getting in the way.' She finally understood, but it took a moment for her to fully process it.

You still hadn't turned around, so I showed this demon how I really felt. I let the anger really show on my face. 'I'm warning you, stay away from her.' Now she looked frightened, it was satisfying. I didn't have to say it again, she nodded slowly, and then I let go of her shoulder. I smiled again at her, and she went on her way, pushing herself just a little faster.

When I got back, you were curious as to what I said. I waved it off, and just told you how happy I was to have a new friend. You of course looked happy about it, but it disgusted me that you were thinking about her. I hid it well, taking your hand. Just for a moment, I looked over my shoulder, and saw _her_ looking back at me. Our eyes met, and I gave her a cold glare, which made her realize how serious I was. She turned around quickly and kept going. I smiled, glad to be rid of the pest. Once again, you was all mine.

* * *

The planned worked, the cripple stayed away from you. You were dejected when she suddenly stopped talking to you, but I was there to comfort you like always. Eventually, when two weeks had passed, you got over it. Just to make sure, I kept giving her the same cold glares as I did on the first day. Everything was perfect.

But then, you got that message in your locker. It was from the person who had ignored you for so long, she had the nerve of contacting you, even after my warning. I suggested that you throw it away, but you shook your head and decided to read it. The note was short. She apologized for the way she was treating you, and was going to tell you everything. At that point I got a little scared. If she told you, you might start to hate me. I couldn't bare to let that happen, if you hated me, then my life would have no more meaning.

A glimmer of hope came in the message. Her guardians were leaving for the night to go on a business trip, she would be all alone today. A light shined in my head, and I thought of a way to stop her.

You asked me for my opinion, and I told you reluctantly that you should give her a chance if she was really sorry. That made you happy, so you decided to meet her after school, even though I would make sure that didn't happen.

At lunch, I ran around the school in search of her. I couldn't let her see you after school, I needed to do something about it right now. I found her pushing along the hallway. When our eyes met, I could see the fear in her eyes as I approached. She stopped, made an attempt to turn around, but I grabbed her shoulder softly, and then I apologized to her.

She was surprised. When I apologized for what I did, I faked my voice, and even managed to produce some tears for her, it was a splendid performance. I begged her not to tell Nanoha, it was pathetic to be throwing myself at her mercy, but I needed to convince her.

It worked, after seeing my heartfelt (fake) apology, she agreed not to tell you the truth. Instead she would lie, saying that she was having a contagious infection taken care of. It wasn't perfect, but it would succeed.

I wasn't done with her yet though. In a show of good faith, I invited her over to my home to play, I said I would invite you as well. Everything was working out perfectly. You had cleaning duties today, and would be in school for at least an hour after the final bell, giving me more than enough time to take care of things, and I _would_ take care of things soon.

I pushed her through the hall, and helped her to the classroom after eating lunch with just us. She looked happy, and didn't have any idea of what I was planing. I thought over what I was going to do, it made me smile. I would have you all to myself, you wouldn't be taken away from me ever again.

Everything fell into place after school that day. I was fully prepared for what I was going to do, I would put an end to everything.

* * *

When I met the enemy, she smiled and I faked a smile back at her, hiding my intentions. I even pushed her toward my home, she talked a lot during that time, it was annoying, but I gritted my teeth. I mailed you, explained that she was coming to my house, and for you to come over there when you finished at school.

I lived alone, in a large house. When I got _she_ inside, she asked about my parents, which was the one subject I never wanted to talk about. But I told her flatly, both of them were dead, a fire at the previous house killed them, it also killed my twin sister as well. I had no other family, and I refused to enter a foster home. With the money I got from their inheritance, I was allowed to stay in this place. That's when I first met you, on the day of my moving in. My whole world changed that day. I owed everything to you, my sanity, my dreams, my future, even my life, for I surely would have killed myself by now if you weren't there. I loved you, more than anything else in this world, I loved you even more than myself.

When I told _her_ all this, she fidgeted around in her wheelchair, blushing, not knowing whether to apologize for asking or to find it all creepy. In the end, she simply said that she admired my devotion and love for you. That was a lie, she was certainly mocking me in her thoughts, thinking about how weird I was, plotting to tell you about it and steal you away. I wouldn't forgive her for it, trying to make a fool out of me with her smile, I would never forgive her.

I still had time, at least half an hour before you would be on your way here. But that didn't mean I could dillydally around, I had to do this soon. I asked _her_ to give me a moment, I told her I was just going to get some juice for us from the kitchen. I placed her in front of the TV and turned it on for her. There she sat and watched, I went to the kitchen like I said as I was. Instead of juice however, I grabbed a large butcher knife from on the counter. I held it gently in my hands, contemplating what I was about to do, over and over. I smiled. I was going to end everything, right here and now, once and for all.

She never saw me staring at her from the kitchen, holding the knife in my hands, and she never heard my quiet footsteps approach from behind. That was no good, I couldn't allow her a peaceful death, I wanted to see the fear in her eyes. So I touched her shoulder, she smiled as she turned around. It all turned to fear when she saw me raise the knife, and she even screamed as I plunged it into her. I overpowered her screams with my own, though mine filled the room with rage.

And soon, the sounds stopped, as did her movements. I held the bloody knife, ready to stab again, but that was no longer necessary. She was dead, laying on the floor in a puddle of her blood. Her wretched blood, it was so filthy, it stained my floor and her chair, and even my face and clothes. I wanted to be rid of it all. This wasn't the end yet, when you came, I would put an end to it all, and make you mine, forever.

I received a mail, you said that you were on your way. That was good. I sent one back, telling you that me and the girl were having the time of our lives. Which was true, I was having fun. I was having more fun than I ever had.

* * *

You arrived ten minutes later, knocking lightly on the door. By then, I managed to throw _her_ down into the basement and set her up against some boxes. I put her wheel chair next to her bloody body. As for the mess in the living room, I simply threw a blanket over it; if you asked, I would say that we spilled our juice and I didn't feel like cleaning it up right now. I also threw on a new shirt and cleaned my face up. I didn't want to surprise you, not yet.

I let you in and smiled brightly, looking more than happy to see you. Stepping aside I let her you, and you immediately asked me where Hayate was. I was disgusted to hear her name again, but I kept smiling, knowing that she couldn't hurt me anymore. To answer your question, I told you that we were playing in the basement before you arrived.

We got a move on and headed to the basement, my heart was jumping out of my chest. I was prepared for this, it wouldn't stop me though. I opened the door, showing a pitch blackness. I explained to you that we were planning on scaring you. I told you that I changed my mind at the last minute, and that we would scare Hayate instead, you went along with it right away. It was dark, so I told you to hold my hand. When you did, I felt the lower parts of my body tingle, I did my best to ignore it. As we walked, I closed the door behind us, locking it without you knowing. Then we took one step at a time, slowly, slowly down the stairs.

When we reached the bottom, I shushed you, telling you to be quiet. If I wasn't lying, and Hayate was alive, she would have heard us come down the stairs, but she wouldn't know exactly where we were till I turned on the lights, and then she would have been waiting to jump out. At this point, I took your and placed her in front of the body, though it was far too dark to see it. And then I backed up, back to the stairs, where I flicked the switch.

You weren't expecting to see what you saw, but when you did, you screamed. At first you might have thought it was a joke, but then you got a good look, and screamed for an entirely different reason.

'Nanoha, my darling.' You turned around at the sound of my voice, scared out of your mind, and found me holding the bloody knife I used to murder the fallen cripple. You stammered with your voice, asking me what was going on and what I had done, moving around to get as far away from me as possible. I asked you to calm down, and to let me explain. You were still scared, it must have been the knife, so I put it behind my back and smiled at you. I told you that it was alright now, and that Hayate wouldn't be able to get in our way anymore. Still you cowered in fear, and said something terrible.

It was supposed to be different than this. Nanoha, why did you say such a thing? At first I thought I misheard you, so you said it again. 'Fate-chan, you're crazy!' It hurt, I even started crying, for real this time. I didn't know why you would say such things, such horrible things to me, even though I went through all this trouble for you. I wanted to understand, so I took a step toward you, you backed up. I tried again, you backed up some more. You were afraid of me, did you think I would hurt you? That's crazy, I would never hurt the person I loved, you knew that. 'Stay away from me!' That hurt even more, why was I being rejected? I did everything for your sake, I lived my life for you and only you, I devoted my entire being to you. Why did you reject me so harshly?

I didn't understand, I couldn't understand this. It was frustrating, it was making me angry. You, the sweetest person on this planet, were saying such cruel things.

**Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why!**

Your words were screeching in my brain, I wanted to turn them off. I couldn't stop crying, not because of regret, but because the person I love so dearly was telling me that I was crazy. I wasn't crazy, not at all. I was doing everything for your sake, it was all for you.

'Why must you push me away, when I love you so much, enough to do this?' I again pulled out the knife, which made you fall over when you tried to back away. You cowered on the floor as I approached. I was becoming more angry.

'Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?'

With each word, I stabbed the boxes behind you, and you screamed each time, holding your hands over your face. I saw your distress, which made me calm down a little. Gently, I caressed your face, to which you stiffened.

'I'm sorry, I must have scared you. I'm sorry.' You peaked your face out, looking at mine. In your eyes, I saw the desperation on my face, and the deranged smile. I didn't mind my ugly face, I was just happy to have you look at me.

It was time to end this, once and for all. I pulled the knife up, held it between our faces. I told you not to move, and you didn't, but you begged me not to hurt you, what a ridiculous thing. I had no intention of doing so, I just wanted you to look at me. I pried your fingers away from your face, and set them on the floor, you made no attempt to move them again. I lovingly held your face with one hand, and pulled you into me. I kissed you, showing my affections and giving you no reason to fear or hate me. It was our first kiss, so it was impossible to describe, but I there was no need to. I was in a pure bliss. When I pulled us apart, you looked even more stunned.

'I love you, more than anyone else.' With that, I pulled the knife back. 'So please don't go anywhere, okay?' I pulled it back a little more. Eating up the fear in your eyes, I took one last look at you, 'Smile.' You did as I told you to, and smiled. I smiled back at you. 'I love you...' I pushed the knife forward, slowly, and then all at once. Before it plunged into you, I opened my mouth, just one last time.

'I love you... that's why, lets be together forever, okay?'

_End. _

_

* * *

__A/N: Hope you enjoyed it. Also, I used the word 'cripple' a few times. I have nothing against handicapped people, I just needed to express Fate's thoughts. __In the end, I'm just covering my own ass, but anyway...  
_


End file.
